How I got Unstuck After Not Publishing for Ten Days
10 days. That’s how long it’s been since I’ve published a story. Sure, I’ve posted some free verse poetry, but not one article. That’s a long time for me. I’ve just been stuck. Everything I’ve wanted to say seems to get jumbled up into a convoluted mess of words, splitting into so many directions no one would be able to follow what I was saying, nor care to once they got past the fourth sentence. And it’s not as if I haven’t continued to try. I have at least ten or twelve half written drafts that I just can’t seem to turn into anything halfway intelligent.
I was tagged to write a silly article with a list of 10 silly things you don’t know about me, and even that has proven too difficult to polish up enough for public viewing. I’m not sure what’s going on with my writing right now. Some of it seems to be sudden stage fright too which is odd because I’ve been doing increasingly well here if you look at it from a pure number’s perspective. My first 30 days I had only 32 views with 21 reads. Within 2 months I had 1025 views with 805 reads. While I know those numbers aren’t through the roof, their rate of improvement is good, and though I’ve had relatively few comments, none have been mean, so why the sudden performance anxiety?
The longer it goes, the harder it seems to get something completed and out there. Kind of like when you get lax about going to the gym. Once you break the habit it’s hard to start back. So today I sent an article off to a publication. It may or may not be published. That is outside of my control. As is this one, but I did put it out there.
I wasn’t completely satisfied with what I had written, but I had been messing around with it for over a week and it wasn’t going to get any better than what it was. I had two choices, which were to trash the damn thing or to go for it. Finally, I decided to go for it. What did I have to lose? They could say no, and if they did, I knew I would go ahead and publish it on my own. Not because it is such a stellar piece but because sooner or later you must get back on the bike.
So here I am, getting back on the bike. It might be a little wobbly of a ride in the beginning and hey, these couple lousy articles may knock me off it. But nobody’s ever ridden a bike without a couple of skinned knees.
This was originally published at www.writingcooperative.com
Medium member since Sep 2018
learning to think again after ECT